I have chosen to go with the former.
I have been reflecting, thinking, mulling over, deciding, pulling back, and as a result, I have lost my feelings, my nerve. Not just with romance, but with my personal ambitions as well.
Thinking and reflecting is good, but when it overwhelms you, it paralyzes you, and you feel lost. Insecure. Doubtful of everything. Blaming yourself, blaming others.
And you know you shouldn’t be that way, but you say you can’t help it. Mind over matter is no silver platter. +10 for the rhyme.
One more time, let’s reposition. Let’s remember what matters and what does not as much.
I want to be in creative advertising. I want to travel and become a woman of the world. I want to be confident, I want to feel it inside and out. I want to ask as many people as possible about everything related to it. I want to be a copywriter. I want to be witty and uncover simple truths that everyone can identify with. I want to work for an ad agency, I want to try Pixar, and gaming companies, and fashion industries as well.
All of this can be accomplished. The only thing that stops you is yourself, and it’s weird. ’cause I do believe in myself. But my doubts cloud me. It shouldn’t matter what others think all the time. Having sympathy for others is a good human trait, but when it stops you from doing what you want to do, it’s no good.
Deep breaths. It’s a new year. I’ll bring about some definite change. I’ll reposition my frame of mind so that I see that thornbushes have roses instead.
